 Fardona (20, from Uzbekistan) tells us about her life -- a life that is not easy, living in a country in which women's rights are becoming ever more difficult to retain.
By Fardona
Edited and published by Thinking-East.Net
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To the forum discussion |
Date published: 25/04/05
Section: Themes / Central Asia
1,372 words
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Sometimes mistaken for Afghanistan or Pakistan, Uzbekistan is also often being confused with other countries bearing a -stan in their ending. Of course, I don't really like this, but being from a country that is to many Westerners distant and obscure, there is so much more that needs to be discussed rather than the mix-up of names.
Although I am 20 years old and to some of you it may seem that I have little experience, I feel prepared enough to debate and express my opinion on some of the hot topics of today's Uzbekistan. Most of them are "taboo," and while they linger in everyone's mind, they rarely come to the surface within personal accounts.
I want to draw for you a descriptive picture of the present-day situation in my country. I'll touch upon issues which are a pain in my neck, but I must share them with you. Yet, while negative shades shall dominate my picture, there are so many positive colours that are obscured but are really there. (After all, it is my country.)
Different traditions?
I am originally from the Ferghana Valley, of which most parts are considered to be very "pious." Though I don't read the Koran, can't learn by heart all the holy words said by Our Prophet Muhammad, and don't usually dress in traditional clothes, I always keep my faith in Allah and know where I belong to-and what my duties are as a Muslim girl.
But apparently, there are different interpretations of what it means to be a Muslim girl.
Some of my friends have stayed in Ferghana due to the prejudice of their parents. Their belief is that it is not appropriate, and even shameful, for a "real" Uzbek girl from a family with a dignified and respectful name to live and study on her own in another city, far away from her home. I overcame these social stereotypes and anachronistic beliefs, deciding to enrol in the University of Tashkent in the capitol of the Republic of Uzbekistan.
As a silent protest against the traditional social fabric that has the "woman's place" only in the house with her children and chores, I came to a city totally alien to me and started my own life. In Tashkent, I discovered that I wanted to pursue a career, and which path I should follow.
My decisions are tightly connected with the issue of gender equality, which is something immensely contentious in Uzbekistan. Developments during the Soviet period gradually offered women more choices than they ever had before. Today, these gains are becoming ever more difficult to maintain.
Just being a girl
Women's rights have become so important in human civilisation that they are intricately connected to basic human rights. In contemporary Uzbekistan, the opinion of a woman as well as her wishes and desires are secondary-they come only after those of a man. This is intolerable to girls like me. Hence, we try to become involved in NGOs that work on gender issues and women's rights.
In truth, there is another reason why I am so concerned about this: my own family. In an allegedly "democratic" and free household, I personally faced violence from my father's side. …Against which I didn't fight; I escaped.
Whenever there is a discussion about the role of women in Uzbek society, it's essentially done to deceive the international community. The creation of new laws and new legal procedures, offering more seats for women in parliament, etc., are parts of a rouse.
Every Uzbek woman expects to be discriminated against due to her marital status, education, social position and so on. When the government tries to involve women in the bureaucracy, even occasionally offering high positions, a woman may simply (and probably) ignore or refuse such opportunities in the fear that she won't be able to hold onto her gains for a long time. Her family, especially her husband, may disdain her decision to carry this sort of responsibility.
What is this? A matter of religion, gender equality, human rights or just social concerns?
Changing women's perception
We have already reached the 21st century and the world is changing radically. Yet, it is getting extremely difficult to change women's attitudes of life, to make them think differently, persuade them how much they can do despite feeling so fragile, to become strong inside themselves.
Thankfully, there are many such girls and women who strive for a better future, who have great expectations from life and are eager to occupy a worthy and dignified place in society and achieve their lives' goals. I am one of them!
This is due to my mother. Despite her failures with my father, she created a healthy environment for me to continue my education and supported me in my dream of becoming a career woman and attaining financial independence. She made me stand up for my rights and the freedoms she was deprived. Her life was my first teacher! I wish there were more mothers like mine to provide their daughters an opportunity to choose what and when, why and with whom.
This is what girls like me want to change: the ongoing Uzbek social stereotypes that women cannot be a powerful branch in the building of a democratic society in Uzbekistan.
Speaking out
In Uzbekistan, people live with the permanent concern that it is dangerous to get "too" involved in something contentious. Everyone fears getting "warned" for every little criticism made. One example: while researching within the framework of the Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE), my university administration suggested me to change my topic, "Media Freedom in Central Asia," for my own "sake and security."
All five Central Asian states are suffering human rights violations in one form or another. There is a ubiquitous lack of freedom of speech, no free and fair elections, and everywhere authoritative governments that are actively preventing any step in the direction of more democratic systems.
Some people even argue that democracy is something which will never be achieved in Central Asia. Despite the region's fourteen years of independence, there is still a smell of the Soviet period in these countries.
Personally, I sometimes doubt that the idea of "Democracy" is applicable to Central Asian states. If democratization is possible, then it can only be a long-term process, and it will take many years for Central Asia's nations to cultivate a clear understanding of the necessary principles for a free and open society.
Foreigners in Uzbekistan
An interesting fact is that many foreigners coming to Uzbekistan for the first time always say that Uzbekistan is very "interesting" and a "challenging place to live in." They tend to stress the country's sightseeing places, national heritage and our rich and multifarious history, not to speak of the diverse culture and nature.
However, what I would like to hear from these visitors is their real opinions, and maybe even suggestions, recommendations about what could be done better. They see our life from a very different perspective and therefore are likely to be more aware (in some respects) of many things which are still unclear to us, the Uzbek population.
You may say people can obtain the latest updates from local TV, radio or newspapers. Unfortunately, the very sad truth is that none of these news-sources provide us with strong, objective and reliable information on current events in our homeland. You will find no independent media in Uzbekistan besides the Internet (though even then some websites are banned by the government).
You see there are so many questions that remain unanswered for Uzbeks who want to shape the future development of our country and set Uzbekistan free from social stereotypes and dictatorship.
We, the youth, are eager to lead Uzbekistan towards prosperity and establish a real democratic and liberal society, not only for our own sake but also for the sake of future generations.
I am firmly convinced that all threats and problems presently faced by Uzbekistan are a matter that should always be on the agenda of the international community. The world's part in the future of Uzbekistan is integral.
I would be endlessly happy to know what some of you, my readers, think about my words.
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| Written by Andrew on 2006-05-14 22:06:13
Dear Uzbek Girl & Fardona,
Your comments and writing on this page are fantastically revealing and to myself a great source of understanding. I am fortunate enough to be dating a girl who until the age of 18 lived in Toshkent. Now at the age of 28 she has overcome several obstacles since leaving her home and now realises that life can be very different. Her upbringing in Toshkent was a privileged one, and she enjoyed a wonderfully close relationship with her father and sisters. However, having been "westernised" for want of a better expression for the last 10 years, she feels uncomfortable at the thought of returning home because not only is she a different person, but more importantly her awareness that women are not second class, should not be beaten, should not be raped, and some things in life should not stay in the family has meant that her "awareness" prevents her from returning home. Uzbekistan has so many fabulous qualities, and could be a wonderful place to live. If only certain elements of the country would stop ignoring the severe problems women face, stop brushing the abuse under the carpet and allow the people to form their own identity.
Despite my desire to live, for at least a while in Uzbekistan, at the time of writing these words I perceive it would not be for the best. I just hope that my partner finds solstice in a country that she can call home, because her home is no longer “her home”.
Uzbek Girl & Fardona, you write with great passion and many countries around the world have an awful lot to learn. I hope they will.
| Publisher
Written by Ahmed Hamdy on 2006-04-22 14:42:23
I am en egyptian man travelling to tashkent in a few days, i will reach there on the 25 th, i was searching the internet for info about tashkent, and i came across this page, and i have to admit i like it very much, i like the way its written and the Fardona courage and determination..
Keep up the good work and Allah be with u, hope to meet u if possible
Ahmed
| Written by Uzbek's society in the UK on 2006-03-25 03:29:33
I would like to thank Fardona for proposed article. I was also impressed with the comments made by UZBEK GIRL. I would really apperciate such discussions about "hot Uzbek topic's". I would like to mention that due to the current situation in our country we can not expect any changes until unless new educated (in direct meaning of this word) generation will come to the top and who will not think about filling their pockets only instead who will borther about country and its society. Again many thanks to the author of the above article and all participants who share their extremely vital and interesting comments.
| Written by Cherise on 2006-01-31 01:57:03
wow.intresting.i've been wanting to learn more about Uzbekistan.women are treated unfair evrywhere around the world.it's been that way for centuries.
| a more real image
Written by Nele on 2006-01-20 16:16:20
Fardona,
I was in Uzbekistan this autumn to do the shooting of a documentary-fiction. We were with a little crew (4p) but were amased by the help of so many people. Unless the dedication of people wanting to show us the beautiful image of Uzbekistan, there's a lot hidden. You only find out after a while and by accident. At the moment I'm dealing with the question how to implicate this in our work. It's so easy to make a film about the heritage and colourful markets and the strangeness of an unknown country. but I want more and I was really touched by how you descibed that a foreigner has another view on the things. We don't want to make this truthtelling film about the country. I would like to change some ideas with you - as I guess you are a woman with a critical mind.
so it would be my pleasure to get in touch with you. nele.blogspot.com
| Written by Kristina Turner on 2005-10-19 23:55:19
Fardona,
Keep up the hard work. Everyone has a right to their own beliefs and be respected for them. I am American and am glad to have freedom, although I do not believe that our current President was well chosen. My mother's parents were Czech and I wish that my grandparents had lived to see their country gain independence. I am still in contact with my third cousin in Prague and want to go back some day. My Russian Professor was from Kazakhstan (her family was Ukrainian). My brother is dating a girl from Uzbekistan who is getting her Master's degree in Economics. I know someone from Uzbekistan who is getting his Chemistry Ph.D. at my university. I believe that all democracies are created by the sacrifices of the people who have fought to gain their freedom and to be respected for their beliefs. It takes many years, but things can only get better. I believe that people should learn to respect other cultures and beliefs and learn to see the similarities between them and not curse other cultures for their differences. The world would be a much more peaceful place if we learned to respect the beliefs and customs of those who are not the same as ourselves.
| To Yulduz
Written by Uzbek Girl on 2005-10-17 19:43:47
Dear Yulduz, The author of this Article and me, are not from Tashkent. The capital. We are from the Farghana Valley, "viloyat" like people normally call it. And people from Viloyat make the majority of the population. Sure, Life in Tashkent is good. Probably women do not face the problems we do face in a daily basis.
thank you for ur thoughts though.
| Tarhun (of Bukharian)
Written by american ex-pat in georgia on 2005-10-13 00:33:13
wow. The beating of children and women isn't something that you shoud minimize Tarhun, It's something that you should learn to be ashamed of. When you go to meet your fate in the after life, I hope that you will have a sparring moment when you feel depths beyond depths of empathy and weep for all of the raped, beaten and downtroden women in your country. and how could a patriarchal society continue surviving without the support of the government? if they intervened, as i believe they should in assisting their women, life might begin to change for fardona and others like her. it's a shame that a greater part of uzbek women can't love their own country as they wish they could.
| Written by yulduz on 2005-10-05 11:29:57
Fardona, Imran, Uzbek girl, and Tarhun (of Bukharian) Thank you all for your input on the subject of freedom, the women rights issues, and Democracy in Uzbekistan. History will do its thing. It will change itself back and forth. However, we may not be around when the change will acquire. From Fardona’s descriptions it seems like she live in Uzbekistan long time ago. The truth is, I personally don’t feel any discrimination against me ( as a women). I agree, you can hear some unpleasant comments of young generation toward good looking women while walking down the road, but that about it.
I was born, raised, got married, had my first child in Tashkent. I am proud of the culture and customs of my country. I never felt ashamed of the way I was brought up. I am not a politicians, but I don’t think there is one single country whose people are satisfied with their government policies, political stands or humane right. The other fact, that is very true (was kindly pointed out by Tarhun of Bukharian), is that seats in “OLIY MAJLIS” are nothing but the seats of circus arena. They have no say in any aspects of our countries existents. A growing debt burden, persistent inflation, and a poor business climate cloud growth prospects in future. My parents were and still are proud that I am an educated women. Both of them were pushing me to go Tashkent Transportny Institute. I don’t think I brought any shame to my family when I graduated with honors. The only thing that is really worries my is the big number of illiterate children who lives in poor “kishlakach” and in central cities. However, there is something I can do and doing about it (I will give you the details next time). So my suggestion to you is stop nagging and start doing. We need to focus on educating our children first, and then we will talk about possible changes in our government, politics , and humane rights. WE have a long way to go to achieve and meet all of the UN standards. So, instead of being scared and nervous, you have to ask yourselves what area I can be useful for my country to get better.
Please, pardon my poor English errors.
Sincerely, Yulduz
| My Opinions
Written by teacher on 2005-10-02 05:07:26
I agree with what you have written. I am an American who is living in Tashkent (3 years now). I have experienced the lack of information. We have gone about 3 months with BBC pulled off the air. When Andajan happened the only channels we could get were in Russian or the local Uzbek channels. I have even been blocked from a family webpage because it mentions Uzbekistan.
I see the problems women face here, although I am American and generlly with my husband when I go out I still see the looks that people give me in the bazaar when I am wearing a knee length skirt. The women here have a long way to go, I am not sure if that is possible under the current government.
| The Solution
Written by Imran on 2005-09-27 02:22:37
If there is anything I made unclear or you would like to leave me a feedback or would like to discuss further, you may contact me on my email address at:
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| The Solution
Written by Imran on 2005-09-27 02:13:00
Sorry, my mistake...the weblinks given earlier were in incorrect formet. Here are they in correct format:
Ahmadyya Muslim Community
Woman In Islam
| The Solution
Written by Imran on 2005-09-27 02:07:21
It is very interesting topic and everyone contributed very well according to their understandings of the religions and the controversial issues regarding women rights and / or extremism. I respect everyone’s views!
I fully support the views of "MR".
I am from United Kingdom and originally from Pakistan.
It’s just propaganda against Muslim countries (mainly against Islam) of the west without any proper solution. Frankly, what they are looking for; are just new sex markets and nudity since it suits their business and westernisation. They do not have any proper solution or example to offer. It is their failed concept of so called “Women Liberation” which has proved to be an Hurricane in their society (just like Hurricane Katherina and Rita, all feminine names...:))...joke). They now call it famininism (the liberation of the women) which has ruined their homes, their society and every decency or morals. I hope you girls would understand the importance of modest and decent life. I know hundreds of English and American friends who are fed up of this and sometime pledge not to marry their own women again in the life and prefer foreign women especially from East. Here women have been given so many rights that a wife can kick out her husband without any reason and acquire all of his property and kids no matter how long they have been married etc. Here a woman is no longer a woman who prefers her family or its values; she usually wakes away even sometimes leaving her kids when she finds a richer man. Women are supposed to make home but now a days they are the biggest cause of family or marriage breakages. In Europe, UK tops in terms of number of divorces and UK was one of the leaders of the “Women Rights” campaigners. It is true men do dishonest things too here and that is why they “liberated” their women at first but now a census is building up that they were wrong and now coming back to old system…Man being the head of the family and woman should look after children and home.
I accept there are some bad people everywhere and women unfortunately suffer and usually are on the receiving end. And women have every right to have better education. There is violation all across the world regarding these issues including Muslim Countries. Even when they are liberated the way west liberated them, there are more violence in West even in America than in any Muslim country. The difference is “propaganda”. There is an emergency line in America “911”, and every single minute they receive a call which is regarding “home violence”. Ask them; what sort of liberation are they talking about when they raise “Women Rights Issues”? They do not have any solution. The only solution is a society based upon the true interpretations of Islam. “MR” is right in saying these issues are to do with morals and ideology or believes. Boy friend and girl friend culture or sex outside marriage is no way women liberation or according to women rights….It is just a backdoor for sex without any obligations or responsibilities etc.
I believe all religions were initially from one God but with the passage of time the misunderstandings or extremism found its way in and the believers of the religion started to exploit the religion in order to gain political gains etc.....
But one thing is for sure, whenever it happened that real religion or real understandings are forgotten or lost by the people God sent Prophet to guide the people to right path. Everyone claims they have the right interpretation and their way of practice is the right way but who is going to decide whether the claim is right....it is only God. So the one from God reveals the truth and comes with signs so that people believe in him. The biggest sign of all of him being from God is the "truth" he presents. He speaks in a way which immediately start purifying people and uplift their soul. The true Prophet and his people are severally or badly opposed by the majority and face miserable times. A new world is created bit by bit like a drop of yogurt in milk.
I am Muslim but I belong to an entirely different sect of Islam than the ordinary Muslims. its a new sect and true interpretation of Islam. Its name is "Ahmadiyya Muslim Community", over just 100 years old but is the fastest growing community in the world. We are the very first victim of the extremists or the radicals. World has come to know about the Muslim extremism only recently but we have been facing it since our community’s birth. We faced and are facing torture, looting of wealth and property, murders and prison ever since. In 1974, in national assembly of Pakistan declared us as non-Muslims with the representation of all other sects of Islam (there are 73 sects including us). This something never happened in the entire history of mankind or religions, that if I believe in a religion and claim that I belong to that religion but someone claim that I do not believe in that religion and make ruling in the countries law as non believers :)
For further details I give you a URL of our community’s website where you could find the information on really interesting topics, like "Women Rights in Islam" and many controversial issues:
Ahmadyya Community
Woman In Islam
Introduction (briefly):
The community was founded by his holiness "Hazarat Mirza Ghulam Ahmed (peace be upon him)" of Qadian, INDIA in 1889. He proclaimed that God has appointed him as the Promised Messiah (second coming of Jesus as promised in the Bible and the Holy Quran) for the revival of Islam and bringing people back to God. Now a day the "Ahmadiyya Muslim Community" has its representation or members in more than 181 countries of the world and is the fastest growing faith. The Community is regarded as highly respected and the most peace loving community of the world and has the motto "LOVE FOR ALL - HATRED FOR NONE". The community has its own satellite channel called MTA (channel no. 807 on Sky Digital network in Europe) broadcasting its coverage world wide and fulfilling the revelation (received in 1887, which was fulfilled in 1994 by the establishment of the satellite channel called MTA) of the Promised Messiah from God Almighty; "I shall cause thy message to reach the corners of the earth".
| wow!
Written by asia on 2005-09-24 13:13:38
what can I say? stay strong! keep on plugging!
| TO DA VINCI
Written by UZBEK GIRL on 2005-09-18 05:44:07
So u deny that problems Fardona pointed out do exist, or do u suggest just to close the eyes on them?
my dad says:"who can help you, if you do not want to help urselfs ursefl?". I guess, it is about people like you, my dear da vinci. U do not have a bf? Good for u. Once you go back, I hope ur parents will trade you for a stranger u do not know, for a good price though, I hope)))))
| Hello
Written by Da Vinchi on 2005-09-13 20:24:06
Dear Fardona,
Stop complainig - it is not gonna help. I have experienced the same, let's say "never ending problem of uzbek women". I totally agree with Tarhun, The Buharian :)). He has a point. Yes, I know, after spending so much time abroad you would never want to go back to Uzbekistan, but it is your choice. You can either come back and suffer and then, hopefully get used to daily routine of an Uzbek woman or just stay there, where you are now.
I live in a different country right now. and I know that if I go back I will have problems with all my relatives and friends, not mentioning the whole society.
Because of my views, i don't even have a boyfriend :))) how funny wouldn't that sound, it is true. I am kind of too much emancipated for them.
But i am ok with my life and my relationship with my friends here. And I am tired of complaining to my parents about the "unfair" life and "no democracy" staff...It will never help. And The Buharian is right, Central Asia will never chnage while Central Asian people live here..:))). I didn't want to say that you were wrong or smth, just....don't whine aout something that is not going to change anyway. It is just the waste of your time. Good luck. Cheer up.
| Written by UZBEK GIRL on 2005-09-11 23:43:35
Hello everybody,
I would like to thank Fardona for such a wonderful article, which is more than true.
I support every single sentence of this girl of my age. Let me tell you my own story.
I am a 20 year old female, who used to live in Uzbekistan, went to school and just luckily end up in the United States as a student. In couple years, I need to go back home, and the more I think about the day I will go home, the more I get scared and nervous. Why?
The first question which shuts me down is-Will people back home understand me? Will They accept me the way I am after those 6 years abroad, greatly changed, with very different points of view to certain aspects? I don’t know…no, I know and what I know scares me, Makes me feel stay here forever but this is not the way. I grew in a very conservative Uzbek family, my both parents are teachers. All my life, up to the time I left home, I was both physically and mentally abused by my father, who would never accept a “NO” addressed to him. But my mother was a wonderful person, she both protected me from abuses as well as she could, and made me believe that this is not all, that I can become an independent person in the Future. She was the one who encouraged me to learn foreign languages, study well and was the only person who supported me in my going to College in NYC. It might sound weird, but everybody, starting from my won dad, and finishing with neighbors wanted me to believe that Going abroad for a good uzbek girl is a shame, that it will be hard for me to get married upon return(yeah, people back home think that once a girl has been abroad, she definitely turned into a whore and a prostitute). My mother was sad, but she told me “It is even better, because u do not need a man who will judge you by those stupid stereotypes.” And I left my home land. It has been almost 4 years now. Sometimes I feel so sorry that I came to this country, that I saw and experienced what I did. First of all, It is so hard to be a girl in Uzbekistan. The society which is proud of it’s culture, values easily tolerates those who abuse their wives, those who abuse their kids. Why? Because back there, everybody believes that WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE FAMILY, SHOULD STAY IN THE FAMILY. That was the reason why my constantly abused mother would never go to police, or to anybody else seeking help. In our Uzbek culture, good wife is the one who puts up with everything, who does not complain, who will never bring the secrets of the family outside.
Divorce is one of the biggest shames, I am not talking about the capital, Tashkent. I am talking about the rest of the country, where lives the 90% of the people, to whom I consider myself. Trying to save the family, and the honor of the family, females puts up with all sorts of sicknesses in the family and relationship. In-laws who “use” the female from the very first day, neighbors who spread gossips, the OWN family of the girl-THEY all make her stay there where she ended up. Otherwise it is a shame. When My aunt got married and her husband turned out to be a cheater, I heard my grandmother telling her to stay with him, that if she will divorce, nobody else would like to marry her. Do you wonder why? Because, in our society, once u had sex with somebody, u r USED, SECOND HAND something. Yeah, and about this virginity part, please do not take me wrong, but I know hundreds of girls who have sex before marriage but couple weeks before the official marriage go and have the hymenoplasty, which costs some $50. Isn’t is sad? The first night of ur marriage, there SHOULD BE BLOOD. Otherwise u r a whore, and will be kicked out of ur new house and turned back to ur parents. So, instead of being careful, and trying to make the “first time” as little painful as possible, ur new husband literally rapes u. This is how we, the Uzbek girls start our “happy” new life.
Very strong stereotypes, which tell you how you should live, how you should talk, how you should serve the tea, how you should wear ur hair and blah and blah and blah. First time I realized WHAT THE FREEDOM is, when I was sitting on the grass, in the campus, and I suddenly thought “Very sad that back home u cannot sit like this, just on the ground reading some silly newspaper and enjoying the sun”. People will look at you, will stare at you and say you r crazy. I was sitting that way and felt so free, I felt that I wish it was the same back home. I am getting very emotional, I am very sorry for that. Sometimes, When I criticize the current regime , those insane cultural stuff, this freaken religious fanatics, People say I am overreacting. One person even told me that I betrayed my own people and country. I was about punching him. If anybody loves his/her country with the full heart-it is me. Whatever I say about my country, it is only because I want my own people to be able to live the lives people living in the states, FREE. If I am criticizing some cultural and traditional points, It is only because I do not want my daughter in the future to be told to show the bloody sheet on her first night, Which I think is more than wrong and sick. Whatever happens between two people, it stays there. Why other people have to know if my daughter is a virgin or not? Why would they care? Why they do not mind their own business. I decided that when I get married, I will not let this sort of stuff happen to me, but Sometimes I feel so weak, that I cannot do anything, That I cannot resist them all on my own. What should I do? I love my people and country, I just want them to be happier than now, but they do not want my help, seeing an enemy in me and an outlaw. So sad.
| Written by Russell C. Colvin on 2005-09-09 19:02:06
rcolvin@cfl.rr.com
Dear Fardona: I hope to spend a few weeks in Tashkent in late October or early November this year. At 73, I am long retired from active business, but I volunteer to visit foreign countries (ideally Russian-speaking since I am a life-long student of Russian) to assist small and medium-sized businesses. I look forward to observing the social structure of Uzbekistan, and plan to revisit this site on my return to the US and offer my comments on your letter. I would be interested in speaking with you while I am in your country and if you wish to correspond, please contact the email address given above. I have lived for several months in various citis in Russia and in the Newly Independent States, so the comparison will be interesting.
Your letter, and the very long response from "Mr." were fascinating ... I can't wait to live in Tashkent for a while.
Russell Colvin
| Written by duana on 2005-07-30 00:14:19
Maybe the women should lead the tribes again! It seems that women in Central Asia are starting to believe in themselves again and to garner strength about them. Find like minded women to talk with. Revolution is never ending!
| Written by Emmalina on 2005-07-08 23:02:18
Dear Fardona, you have great courage to do what you are doing. Don't ever give up,but be careful. I am an American woman, mother of three children. My husband, love of my life and father of my children is Uzbek. I spent some time their several years ago and i agree with evything that you are saying. I have seen it and confronted it myself and i know it is very difficult for anyone to live in this life. Stay strong.
| Mr.
Written by Tarhun (of Bukharian) on 2005-06-03 03:37:34
Dearest Fardona, you have raised a very important problem, but, as I see, you article is somewhat exagerrated, and thus, I dare make some comments.
Before I start, I must say that: having lived in Uzbekistan over 21 years, I’ve never seen any woman complaining of sexual discrimination or shouting out their discontent because there are no seats for women in parliament.
Hey, Fardona! Wake up! Are you really from Uzbekistan?! You seem to be an American seed that accidentally fell on the harsh, bloody ground of Uzbekistan.
Fardonajan, believe me, today’s women of Uzbekistan have something more important to concern about, than the seats in parliament. The times of Zarineas and Tomirises, when women were the leaders of the tribes, rode horses and fought along with men – are gone, they have passed long ago. Dear Western Guests, believe me, in fact, there are very few such phenomenons as Fardona in Uzbekistan.
By the way, who would claim a seat in The Uzbek Parliament, when everyone, even men :), know that it is nothing but a circus.
Below I have written some commentarys to some of your thesises, which seemed interesting to me(you thesises in quotations):
“…hot topics of today's Uzbekistan. Most of them are "taboo," and while they linger in everyone's mind, they rarely come to the surface within personal accounts. “
Let’s put it right: There is no taboo on the women rights issues, there is a TABOO on the human rights issues. – Feel difference? :)
“I am originally from the Ferghana Valley…”
– The very place where Islam is very popular – (Wanna live in the Valley? – Be a muslim, or leave the Valley :) joke)
“Though I don't read the Koran, can't learn by heart all the holy words said by Our Prophet Muhammad, and don't usually dress in traditional clothes, …”
I can only imagine how they treat girls like you. People of the Valley even think that those who live in Bukhara and Samarqand are not really muslims, although, they claim to be. They think so because Bukharan and Samarqandis are Fardona-type muslims(they don’t pray, don’t read Qur’an, etc. -- no offence to Fardona:)). Maybe they could not forget the bloodshed, which “pious” arabs brought with Islam.
“I always keep my faith in Allah and know where I belong to-and what my duties are as a Muslim girl.”
The duties of a muslim girl(woman) is: to pray 5 times a day, read The Qur’an(at least sometimes), wear hijab, be a good wife to her husband after marriage, bring up her children in an Islamic manner. – Not my words – respectable mulla’s(can’t say his name).
So, one can never be half-pregnant, nor can he be a half-muslim – again, not my words(again, no offence to Fardona:)) – I myself am a Fardona-type muslim, but I am indeed!
“But apparently, there are different interpretations of what it means to be a Muslim girl.”
Definitely!
“Some of my friends have stayed in Ferghana due to the prejudice of their parents. Their belief is that it is not appropriate, and even shameful, for a "real" Uzbek girl from a family with a dignified and respectful name to live and study on her own in another city, far away from her home.”
Here comes the exaggeration. - Of course there are many conservative families, particularly in the Valley, but, these are just few cases of many . I myself studied in Tashkent(can’t say the institution), and believe me, 50 to 70% of all girls were from other regions (apparently, Tashkent's girls don't want to study:)), and, what is more noticeable, the biggest portion of them were from the Valley (no wonder – the Valley has the largest population and is close to the capital). I believe the pproportion is the same today.
And there is a very important point:
Most of the girls from the Valley wear hijabs, for some reason the authority dislikes it and makes them put it off, while Islam strictly prohibits doing so. As a result, many girls are being dismissed or forced to put off their hijabs.
What is this? Isn’t this a human rights violation? Isn’t this a reason, due to which, religious families decline to send their daughters for studying? Therefore, dearest Fardona, you should not bind every problem to the religion.
Besides, there are some considerable cultural reasons(that might not be comprehended by the people from the West, anyway…), which are of great concern for the parents of these students, and which Fardona skillfully dissembles:
Contrasting with poor, economically ruined, desolate regions (once flourishing), Tashkent is the single bonanza, appealing "oasis" in the middle of the "desert", place to which every coming uzbek binds his modest hopes. Because of this hope, or maybe because people think that the educational institutions of Tashkent are “the best” in Uzbekistan, (which is rather arguable, I don’t really think there left anything scientific in any of these institutions, throughout Uz-n), however that may be, parents try to make enough money to send their children to these places. But, what is the result?
A girl which hasn’t seen anything but sheeps and the steppe and the village, finding herself in the fairy world of freedoms, changes drastically. I don’t say this is bad, I neither say this is good. It may sound as a nonsense for the peoples of different cultures, but when an uzbek father sees his once modest daughter, half breast open, wearing a miniskirt, hanging out with the guy in a club, I don’t think he will be pleased and later will send his younger daughter to the same hell. Oh, I know, it is so natural for us, but not for a man who lived in a remote village, in a conservative family, who knew no woman, but his wife. It will rather be a shock for him- his beloved daughter became like a whore in a perverted city. He will do everything to prevent his other children from having such a fate. Of course, not every girl passes it(maybe few), but the examples are pretty enough, for the people to make their minds.
"...As a silent protest against the traditional social fabric that has the "woman's place" only in the house with her children and chores,"
There’s always been and will be the woman’s place and the man’s place in the society. Every society determines it by its own criterions. It’s not easy to change it.
“My decisions are tightly connected with the issue of gender equality, which is something immensely contentious in Uzbekistan.”
You will have no success by speaking about gender equality among the government officials or somewhere else – it has much more to do with the people, their beliefs, rather than the government or any agency.
“I overcame these social stereotypes and anachronistic beliefs, deciding to enrol in the University of Tashkent in the capitol of the Republic of Uzbekistan.”
Dearest Fardona, these beliefs are not anachronistic, they are the reaction of the people to today’s reality.
“Some people even argue that democracy is something which will never be achieved in Central Asia.”
Definitely, until Central Asians live there (:)joke).
"Personally, I sometimes doubt that the idea of "Democracy" is applicable to Central Asian states."
Dearest Fardona, what do you mean by Democracy? If it is what happens in America, God save us from that.
"You may say people can obtain the latest updates from local TV, radio or newspapers. Unfortunately, the very sad truth is that none of these news-sources provide us with strong, objective and reliable information on current events in our homeland."
Not really... Yes, it is true that uzbek MMedia is f-aaar beyond the reality. But, there are some other sources of objective information: most people have access to Russian channels, such as ORT, NTV, Rossiya, and if you have a “dish” you can watch CNN, BBC, even catch the channels of Qatar Television Al-Jazeerah! :).
Dearest Fardona, the owner of a beautiful name, the last thing I should say, is that you must definitely distinguish two different things: governmental issues and the cultural issues. Everything you say against the government(dictatorship, freedom, democracy), refers not only to women, it is the bitter fate of all the people of Uzbekistan.
Everything you say about the anachronistic beliefs, is the issues of the culture. Unlike the first, this cannot be fixed easily, you can’t just say : “Every father must accept everything his daughter says or wants, after she is eighteen”. If you adopt such a law, no one will follow it, and if you try to make people obey, there will be a rebellion. What I mean- is that you can’t change the nature of people just in one day. And please, don’t be so westernizated, unlike westerners, you can feel like an uzbek, you know well what is Uzbekistan and who lives there. People of Uzbekistan will never live by the American scheme (unless it occupies us, as it likes to do :), I’m not anti-American, I just know it), even if there is a complete democracy. Oh yes, I really admit that there is much to do about the women’s rights, and I appreciate your efforts, but, you won’t have a positive result just fighting for women’s rights, because women live in one society with other members: the men, old, children, the disabled …, and since overall human rights are not in the better level than the women’s, it all goes vain.
(Please, pardon my poor English :))
| Written by Anna on 2005-05-20 19:37:40
Fardona, your testimony really touched me. I've been doing quite a few things myself to help girls and women in Kyrgyzstan voices to be heard. Sometimes there is too much resistance and I want to give up. It's a struggle indeed. Against violent, rigid, inflexible beliefs that put us in cages. My support to you.
| Teacher
Written by Chris Smith on 2005-05-10 05:22:28
Good morning Fardona
The universal problem in all societies and at all times has been the relationship between freedom and authority and between the individual and the collective. At various times in our history and in various countries and cultures, the dominant direction has been toward authority rather than freedom and towards the power of the State rather than the peace of the citizen.
At all times the strength of the collective is dependent on the freedom of the individual. Social responsibility is impossible without political power or the basic freedoms of expression, religion, dress and sexuality. Without these there is no real 'culture' and no real 'democracy'.
It is also true that the degree of 'civilization' or 'democracy' can be evaluated by the way in which women, children, the disabled or the elderly are treated in a particular society. (We can also assess societies on the way in which they deal with rubbish or the effluent of our daily living.) If women are not free and equal participants in a society, then that society is not free or just. If children are not respected or educated, or free to be children, then that society is not free. If the disabled are not treated with respect and given the opportunity to participate in society, then that society is not free. If the elderly are not respected and cared for then that society is not free or even 'civilised'.
I admire your struggle and sympathise with the difficulties you face. I also believe that there always comes a time when any individual or group, seeking justice or respect, must confront the conservative elements around them, much as the child has conflict in the break with their parents. Your struggle for human rights and respect may also reach this point.
From the distance of Australia, all I can do is wish you well, have courage...
| Written by Zamir on 2005-04-30 21:45:00
My dear Fardona!!!
Your article makes me think much. Please look at women's right issue from the prism of happiness. I hope than it will be easier for you to keep the balance between freedom and cultural domination. In making change in your life and life of your community be very prudent and careful. How much freedom and how much dependence is necessary for happiness??
Being from Central Asia myself, my second advice to you is to avoid overt objections and to develop strategies of silent and peaceful transformation.
| writer
Written by Denise on 2005-04-30 21:25:22
Fardona, I applaud you on your courage and determination to work for change. It is people like you that make change happen. I am a woman, and a writer from Colorado, in the United States. I have just begun to gather information on Central Asia, hopefully in preparation for a visit. I feel drawn to the beautiful high mountain valleys of the area, and would like to learn more about the history and culture of the people. I have lived and traveled in Africa, Europe, Latin America, and the US, but have never been to Asia. If and when I can manage to visit your part of the world, I would love to meet you to learn more about your life and your country. Good luck with your struggle. Stay strong! Peace, Denise
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